The first day of the rest of my life

TD was prolly the most influential job of my life time. It certainly gave me a back bone, increased my self-esteem, and taught me invaluable information about the financial world. That being said, banking is not for me, and as time went by, each day at work was another stroke of fur the wrong way on the proverbial cat of life.

Once staying at work became a battle in my life, a long and meticulous debate roared in my mind. Boiling it down, on the plus side, I had a job in a fine sector with benefits that will blow your O-ring. On the down side, I was stressed all the time, stressed at work, stressed at school, stressed during sleep.

And what about my identity? I am a Teller. Any one will feel this with any job they have. What we do becomes our identity. If i met you on the street and said "who are you", you'd say, "imma student" "imma lawyer" "imma consultant" "im just a kid"

When i got the guts to leave, even tho my intention is to not work in the next year, i would have heightened attention to "help wanted" signs even if they were in subway or tim's, or if i overheard someone on the street talking about the job market or a company that's hiring. then i would have to tell my self, i'm not looking for a job. i've been working in some form since i was 14. that's like a decade of my life. i.e. half my life on Earth. i dont even know what it's like to not work. to wear miss-matching socks, cause it dont matter. to sleep in till noon, cause i'll still have time. not consume.

speaking of which, that was another thing. when i lost my job, i immediately thought of 7 large purchases (in the hundreds or thousands of dollars) that i simply had to buy, but didn't because i'm cheep, and i hate going to stores. thank god for that. i'd rather spend the last of my savings on eating and drinking myself to the grave than have any of those purchases in my possession.

any how, my psychological process went from conflicted (about leaving or not), to guilt (about leaving) then fear (about being jobless) topped with a bit of flagrant disregard for tardiness, tactfulness, or discipline (because it was my last four shifts).

break for joke: you could say i made a job...withdrawal, soon after i deposited my resignation
(thanks steve; you make me laugh)

I was also a bit disappointed that there was poor organization for the sasha and karen going away party to which no manager showed up (we have three, you'd think one would drop by.) i received no gift nor card, or spending money for that going away party. however, on my last day i feel that they were redeemed somewhat when my manager took me for lunch, and i negotiated with the branch manager a parting gift of 6 months of my monthly fee to be waived on my account.

Today is my first day not working, and it's marvelous.


Today's lesson: Identity is transient.