Flies

Just yesterday, I saw a fly on my window, and it was dying. Well i assumed it was dying because it didn't fly away when you came near it, infact i was poking it with my finger. I stopped when i realized it's prolly really germy to do that.

Any ways, I decided to let it outside, instead of killing it, so it could enjoy its last moments outside. If flew off.

Today I was thinking about it, and thought, that if flies only live in there adult form for 7 days, then the fact that it spent the whole day in my window was a seventh of it's life.

Imagine hitting your head against a peice of glass for 11.5 years (assuming you live til you're 80). Thise is the amount of time a fly spent in my house in fly years.

The life a fly, therefore, really sucks ass.


For the Entheusiastic
If you'd like to do a little project along with me this is what you do:
(we'll use me as an example)
1) First, find your country's life expectancy at birth. Mine, according to Stats Can, is 80.2 for women.
2) Second, do a bit of math. Divide your life expectancy by 7 days or 14. Under natural conditions, a house fly lives about one to two weeks (according to ask.com). For me, 80.2/7 = 11.5 or 80.2/14=5.7 . (Personally, I'd choose 7 days, since the fly i let out seemed quite ill any ways. there is no way that one will make it to two weeks.)
3) On a peice of paper write the date, and a major event that is happening this year/month, that you will likely remember several years from now. It can be something in your life, like graduation or something in the news like a hurricane. In my case i will put moved to new city for the first time.
4)Then write the message "Of all the things that I've done in my life since [place event in step 3 here] I would only now be free from banging my head against a window for one day if i were a fly."
5) Then seal the letter in an envelope and put the date that is exactly the time difference that you calculated in step 2. For me the date would be December 12, 2017 or May 20,2013 depending which life span i choose as a fly.
6) wait
7) When your day arrives, open the letter an think about what a long time it has been since the event, and how shitty the life of a fly really is.


For the Keeners
That's just the adult part of a house fly's life. There is a whole other 6 days of it's life that it spends as a larva and pupa. The larva is born into a pile of poop, or some other rotting organic matter. It then eats the shit, until it becomes strong enough to crawl out of it, and become a pupa. I guess the pupa stage isn't so bad, although it's prolly painful, and one is vulnerable when one's extoskeleton is soft. It takes an hour for the shell to dry.

I wont get you to do the eating of shit for 23 years, but perhaps you'd like to try sitting in a bath for 83 days to get an idea of what the pupa feels like for one hour.

Today's Lesson: Life is short, but not as short, or as terrible as a fly's

Satire on PR

The following are the most recent works of satire that I have come across and really love.

The first is the movie 'thankyou for smoking' which is absolutely hillarious. it really bites into the foibles of public relations.

Then for desert Geoff Berner's 'Public Relations' song that can be found on iTunes. Is super catchy and has good lyrics.