June 26, 2005

How to Become an Actor

The most important part of becoming an actor is that you must know how to act. Some people think they know how to act, when in fact they just hang out with people who can't act, and so think that they are some pretty awsome actor. But if you hang out with actors, and it turns out that you can act then you can go on to the next step.

When you preform, you must not wear any shoes. You can wear socks if you wish, but it is better if you are in your bear feet. All the really good actors preform in their bear feet. If you do wear shoes while preforming, make sure this is because it is a prop. For example, if you wear shoes, be sure that later in the play you need to rip them off your feet in order to use them to cover your ears to keep out the tribulations of a gay ballet dancer who's gone insane in a time of war. -Oh Ballet Russe!

The less props and stage setting you have, the better. Of course, if you have none, then you are just a talking mime. But if you have one, two, or three (not including your shoes), and use them effectively and creatively then you will get a standing ovation. Even in a world where good special effects are essitial for a blockbuster hit, in the world of plays, special effects are over rated. It's all about the acting.

You must also support other actors, this is very imporant. You scratch their back and they'll scratch yours.

Of course, don't listen to me, because i'm not an actor, and i'm definitely not successful. But you can learn all these things if you go to any Fringe Festival this side the Canadian border.

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